by Jennie Ellis, Kindergarten Teacher
How do we stay connected and balanced as a family in a time of such uncertainty?
A well-rooted sense of security, freedom, and imagination can grow into a strong, craved-for comfort for you and your children.
Strong roots, tangled and arranged with pure, considerate intention, will provide strong interconnections with one another.
There are some supportive steps that can help maximize your efforts.
Security
Security comes from providing a warm, protected environment. In these chaotic times, our usual environments can become unraveled. A flooded environment could cause your child to be immersed in too many strong sense impressions from all directions. This sends our children in too many directions at one time, asking them to filter and intellectually understand beyond their developmental growth. These days, this could be as simple as providing too much information about the COVID 19 Virus. Providing only the mandatory details for their safety is best. Leave the worry for the adults. Children birth to seven years old need only the basic safety directions. More than that can lead to anxiety and disconnection. Even in times of complete certainty, offering our children too many activities or too many books or toys to choose from can cause confusion and over stimulation. Imagine what this unexpected twist has done to our child's sense impressions?
Providing a sheath of physical warmth is essential for very young children. Young ones have not yet developed the ability to self regulate body temperature. Between birth and age 7, children need all their energy for growth and organ development. If their bodies are too busy trying to regulate body heat, this period, they can experience illness, exhaustion, and frustration.
Help your children by giving clear messages about what to wear. This can be difficult with children who have sensory challenges or express frustration with clothing and varying temperatures.. Layers of clothing help with this obstacle. I have rarely met a child who willingly puts on layers, so pick your battles and trust your parental instincts.
Rhythm, Rhythm, Rhythm. An enormous sense of security comes from a solid, family rhythm. As adults we follow our own daily rhythm, even if it doesn't feel organized, we have one. Getting up, taking care of our children, going to work, eating, sleeping, etc. We as adults crave variety in our lives; children crave repetition. Children are forever changing, developmentally, physically, and internally. They require a stable external environment. The slow rhythm of nature can be a perfect base and healing tool to anyone’s rhythm, especially a child’s. Think about when the sun rises; we get up, eat breakfast and start our day. Mid-morning, we do our most productive physical and mental work. Mid-day, we refuel our bodies in order to continue our work in the afternoon. Mid-afternoon, we slow our work down and anticipate when we can move into our freedom mode. Our work is coming to an end and we can relax. Sundown, we are full of comfort and quiet moments as our bodies prepare to rest and recharge for another day, another season, etc. We can find small ways to make our days more rhythmic over time. It could be as simple as eating your three meals a day at the same time. Only you and your family can find the right fit -- be patient and give it time, each day will get easier.
Freedom and Imagination
Children require age-appropriate freedom to move and lose themselves in imagination. A child flourishes where they can physically move about in a safe and open way. Make spaces in your home for creativity and comfort to blossom. A couple of pillows in a cozy corner of your house will welcome any child during times of imaginative play or even in times of frustration. A welcoming space, where they can safely gather their feelings, gaining comfort while keeping their freedom. This is an amazing tool to utilize during these days of insulated living. Put a story basket together by taking three or four animal or human figures, a piece of cloth and some rocks or pine cones. Have it in a space where they have room to set up a play area. Imagination will take flight and you can sit close by, reassured that your child is content and you have some freedom of your own. (Necessary freedom to get to the work that needs to be done for your job or household tasks.)
All of this may feel like an overwhelming, unattainable new item to add to your devastatingly long, ongoing list. Apply or abandon any or all of these concepts to serve your family’s unique needs. Above all, trust your own instincts. Sometimes the hardest part might not be hearing this instinct, but listening to it. As a parent, you truly are your child’s first teacher and already hold all the tools you could ever need to make them feel safe and loved. My role as teacher is challenging most days, but I attempt to remind myself daily that I can give the children everything they really need.
Even on the most desperate of days, I can teach them patience through an extra deep breath before defusing a conflict. I can show extra love through a reassuring hug in a time or disconnection. Or I can teach them strength with an encouraging gesture of trust.
We are our child's main source of strength; we are their whole world right now. The connection will remain and a sense of family unity will shine through this somber cloud of unpredictability we now call everyday life. Find tenderness in your ideals and bask in the beauty of these unexpected moments we now get to experience with our families.
